[There was something that's been on his mind. While he wasn't sure how to bring it up, it was probably better to aim for a time that hadn't been too hectic.
So why not butter her up with food, and then strike when she's full and relaxing? Standing at the sink and cleaning dishes, Ludger kept trying to think up the best way to phrase it, but there isn't really any other way to put it, is there...]
[ She'd been suspicious, but ultimately happy, by his offer to cook dinner tonight. Milla loves cooking! Honestly adores it.
It'd just gotten a lot more unwieldy ever since Silver moved in officially, and they had to feed a few of his posse alongside him. A break from it two days in a row is good, though really? She should've protested more and interrogated him harder about why he wanted to take her turn instead of just shrugging it off. Milla rests her cheek against her hand, watching him as he washes dishes. She'd been about to offer help with that, but it's immediately banished from her mind. ]
Is that why you offered to make dinner tonight? [ Ah yes, a question with another question. She purses her lips; there's going to be more than a hint of bitterness here. ] Of course I have, we live next to each other. I've found out that Milla Maxwell is as perfect as her companions made her out to be. Truly an inspiration to the rest of us.
[He thought that Milla wouldn't get along. Why would she? Honestly, Ludger can't even think of a reason why they would. They're completely different, much like him and Victor. They only had some underlying tones that remained the same between their different worlds.
He sits the dish and the rag down, looking over to Milla. It was a subject he brought up, so he might as well face her while they discuss it.]
Probably. Even before this city got its hands on her with its gross, emotion-showing ways, she felt more open than she wanted to be... in some ways. At least he's giving her the honor of looking at his stupid face while they talk, though the option of that flies the nest with his comment. The wallpaper is rather pretty in the kitchen, isn't it. ]
Not the way she does. [ That isn't quite true, though, and a lump grows in her throat at the thought of Sanae. Chocolates or not, the green-haired girl had said she thought Milla was admirable and awesome. Even after that, the wave of admiration and good feelings was enough to make her wonder if... if it was all right to think she might be just as inspiring as Milla Maxwell in her own way.
She shakes her head though, both to clear it and to knock the silly idea right out of her head. She hadn't done anything to deserve that--she wasn't even the proper Maxwell, and she (possibly, probably, very likely) had never been. That's something she hasn't told anyone about finding out yet despite knowing it for almost two months. ] I haven't done anything inspiring, aside from letting go when I had to so she could take her place in the prime dimension again.
[ She hadn't had much choice in the matter, either. Selfish as she might be, she'd never endanger them just because she might've found people who actually liked her and being around her. It's different here, in Empatheias and in Verens, but it still doesn't settle right with her. Milla's never been a fan of people trying to cozy it up here, and she certainly hasn't liked the fact she's begun feeling comfortable here. ]
[As lame as it is to say. It's not even just in one way, either. He's improved his cooking, and Elle... well.]
And Elle's grown up a lot since meeting you.
[There's no doubt about that. Elle really looked up to Milla, and he could see some of Milla's attitude and mannerisms in her. She's really influenced more people than she's thought.]
[ She honestly doesn't know how to react to that, but that's continuously been her experience with him, with this city, with pretty much everything since she was taken from her dimension. She should be used to it by now; she should be used to adapting and going along with the flow.
She's not, though, so she's left staring at him until her mind snaps back to attention a minute later. She stands and leans against the table instead--she feels better, somehow, looking at him more or less eye-level. Equal footing, she supposes. ]
It would've been the same if you had met Milla Maxwell instead of me. [ That's no uncertain truth. In fact, it might have even been better for them if they had just met her prime dimension counterpart from the get-go instead of getting attached to some false Maxwell. Milla tries to look him in the eye like she wants to, but she looks over his shoulder instead. At him, but not at him. ] Things might've even gone smoother if I hadn't been around. It almost--
[ she bites her tongue on it, but her thought continue through the crystal on her cuff, anyway: makes me wish I'd died sooner.
It's a terrible sentiment. It's not one she wants to have. It's not one she does have. And the second she realizes it's been transmitted to him anyway, she straightens up and--she can't take it back. She doesn't wish that, she's never wished to die, she's terrified of it but it's something she has to do. She has to own up to it though. ] I mean, it... it almost makes me wish you hadn't taken me from my dimension at all.
[ It's the same thing--dying--but one is without knowing them and traveling with them. One is the easier route. It's something she's said before, implied or said straight out, but it doesn't have any spite to it. No fire, nothing. It's just a cover-up. ]
[That's an easy enough statement to deflect. It's not the same at all, namely because--]
You two aren't the same. [Or he should correct that.] You're both Milla Maxwell, but you're completely different from one another.
[He laughs thinking about it, actually. He can't really deny that he feels bad from taking her from her dimension, but even so... he can't really regret it.]
I don't think Elle would have gotten along as well with her.
[Considering how similar her and Fractured Milla are.]
[ Her tenseness isn't fading, because Ludger's words... they're nice. He's a genuine and honest person, but he's kind, too. He wouldn't say something to hurt her, and if that meant throwing a few lies her way she's sure he'd do so. Hadn't he already, anyway?
His kndness is as cruel as it is comforting, in the end, so she laughs curtly. ]
She would've. [ It makes her wonder, though--she squeezes the table behind her. She doesn't want to know, but... ] ...how'd she feel, meeting Milla Maxwell?
Huh. I guess her and I have more in common than I thought. [ You don't even know the half of it. Milla'd stall on talking but, like ... she's already blurted out something like this before.
Maybe it wouldn't hurt to talk about her feelings for once...!?!?! No that's silly let's go on avoiding doing that. ] I'm honestly not even sure that girl that size is capable of actually hating someone.
...so, cool, topic successfully avoided! Just don't stick your foot into your mouth, Milla, and you can escape this situation. ] Why'd you want to know? About if I met Milla Maxwell or not.
[ It was an easy switch from just "Maxwell" to "Milla Maxwell"--and maybe it's being a little cruel to herself, because it's a reminder that she doesn't have the right to anything but the first part of that name. Milla. ]
[ Well, she's certainly got a very Interesting opinion of Milla Maxwell as well. Honestly. ]
She's a good person. Spirit. Every praise her companions spouted about her is well-deserved, and then some. [ Tiz--and the lights dim for just a second at thinking of him, because they really didn't leave off on a good note--had called the other Milla elegant. She knows there's a great many people who'd agree, especially after meeting... her.
Inelegant, short-tempered her. ] I'm pretty sure she's only got two weaknesses. One: She's in a relationship with a human, and seriously, I don't care what crap they're spouting about spending their time while they can, it's doomed. They're just gonna end up hurting each other. Two: She's reaaally not the cooking type. She's a quick-learner at least, but I don't foresee her really getting into it. She's probably more of a fan of eating meals than making them.
She's infallible and perfect otherwise.
[ Green with envy? A little. And kind of literally; it's getting pretty Emerald City up in here. Hopefully the wallpaper and tile aren't gonna stay that way. ]
[Let's hope not. The only green around here needs to be Ludger's eyes. He almost regrets asking the question, but even if she does sound upset or envious about all of this, it was pretty obvious to him that she needed to get all of that off of her chest.
Even if it feels like there's even more that she needs to get out. Not like he'll push it.
He would be surprised about the news of the relationship if he didn't catch them making out on the couch once. A small ping of jealousy was there, nothing too big. He was definitely happy for them, but at the same time, it's hard to see someone kissing someone who looks like a person that you're close to.
What, you didn't cozy up to me enough before? [ She rolls her eyes--flattery is going to get him nowhere. Or perceived flattery isn't. Except it has, continuously, because Milla's a sucker for compliments, even if she doesn't feel like they're entirely warranted all of the time.
Only pet the cat when it lets you etc etc. ] I'm just saying she's--you know. [ Amazing? Wonderful? Better than her in every way, why the hell would anyone sincerely prefer her over her prime counterpart after they met her?
Elle aside. Elle... Kids just get attached too easily to one thing, and Elle in particular is the most stubborn brat she's ever met. It makes sense for her. Anyone else in their right mind, though.
Anyone... else... she stares at Ludger, contemplating it, but--no, she doesn't want to know. She doesn't! She really
honestly
doesn't. ] Anyway, that's that. Happy with your bribed information?
shouldn't be so hard on him, should she. ] I don't need cheering up, you know. I'm fine. I've been living next to the lot of them for the past half year, and...
[ This is where she pauses though, because it's not something she wants to say, but. She did the "and", he'll probably press her about it. His consideration can only go so far if he thinks there's something actually getting her down. ] I found out something a few months ago that, if it's true, explains a couple of things. Or--more than a couple of things. A lot of things.
That the prime dimension's Milla was created by the real Maxwell to be bait for Exodus, and only became Maxwell after she died and was pulled out of the reincarnation cycle by the Four.
[ She slumps a little. This still hurts to think about. She was played for a fool the entire time--gotta be explaining why she doesn't claim her Lord of Spirits title as much anymore though, actual Lord of Spirits residing in Empatheias aside. ]
It's likely that I was the same way, except my big sister was sent along with me to make sure that our mission was carried out. When we were finished, I dismissed the Four--or I thought I did. It's more likely that the real Maxwell called them back to the spirit realm. The person my big sister must've been trying to talk to at the Hallowmont must've been him too. [ Milla squeezes her arms, closing her eyes. She'd hate to see him pity her, even for a second. ] I've been living a lie for the past twenty-one years of my life, and I got to hear it from Miss Maxwell herself--along with the story of the woman her and I were named after, Milla Kresnik.
[Even if she doesn't see his pity, he's doing pretty well of voicing it. He knew about the story of Milla Kresnik, but was that really a surprise, given his own last name? He even met Maxwell himself, even if it was just a fossil.
He's not even sure what to say, other than that. What can he say, other than sorry? There's not much else to say when someone's life ended up being a lie.
But he can think on it, for a bit, at the very least.]
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descendend) wrote2014-09-07 05:44 pm
3/17
So why not butter her up with food, and then strike when she's full and relaxing? Standing at the sink and cleaning dishes, Ludger kept trying to think up the best way to phrase it, but there isn't really any other way to put it, is there...]
... You've met the other Milla, right?
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It'd just gotten a lot more unwieldy ever since Silver moved in officially, and they had to feed a few of his posse alongside him. A break from it two days in a row is good, though really? She should've protested more and interrogated him harder about why he wanted to take her turn instead of just shrugging it off. Milla rests her cheek against her hand, watching him as he washes dishes. She'd been about to offer help with that, but it's immediately banished from her mind. ]
Is that why you offered to make dinner tonight? [ Ah yes, a question with another question. She purses her lips; there's going to be more than a hint of bitterness here. ] Of course I have, we live next to each other. I've found out that Milla Maxwell is as perfect as her companions made her out to be. Truly an inspiration to the rest of us.
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[He thought that Milla wouldn't get along. Why would she? Honestly, Ludger can't even think of a reason why they would. They're completely different, much like him and Victor. They only had some underlying tones that remained the same between their different worlds.
He sits the dish and the rag down, looking over to Milla. It was a subject he brought up, so he might as well face her while they discuss it.]
You inspire people, too.
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Probably. Even before this city got its hands on her with its gross, emotion-showing ways, she felt more open than she wanted to be... in some ways. At least he's giving her the honor of looking at his stupid face while they talk, though the option of that flies the nest with his comment. The wallpaper is rather pretty in the kitchen, isn't it. ]
Not the way she does. [ That isn't quite true, though, and a lump grows in her throat at the thought of Sanae. Chocolates or not, the green-haired girl had said she thought Milla was admirable and awesome. Even after that, the wave of admiration and good feelings was enough to make her wonder if... if it was all right to think she might be just as inspiring as Milla Maxwell in her own way.
She shakes her head though, both to clear it and to knock the silly idea right out of her head. She hadn't done anything to deserve that--she wasn't even the proper Maxwell, and she (possibly, probably, very likely) had never been. That's something she hasn't told anyone about finding out yet despite knowing it for almost two months. ] I haven't done anything inspiring, aside from letting go when I had to so she could take her place in the prime dimension again.
[ She hadn't had much choice in the matter, either. Selfish as she might be, she'd never endanger them just because she might've found people who actually liked her and being around her. It's different here, in Empatheias and in Verens, but it still doesn't settle right with her. Milla's never been a fan of people trying to cozy it up here, and she certainly hasn't liked the fact she's begun feeling comfortable here. ]
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[As lame as it is to say. It's not even just in one way, either. He's improved his cooking, and Elle... well.]
And Elle's grown up a lot since meeting you.
[There's no doubt about that. Elle really looked up to Milla, and he could see some of Milla's attitude and mannerisms in her. She's really influenced more people than she's thought.]
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She's not, though, so she's left staring at him until her mind snaps back to attention a minute later. She stands and leans against the table instead--she feels better, somehow, looking at him more or less eye-level. Equal footing, she supposes. ]
It would've been the same if you had met Milla Maxwell instead of me. [ That's no uncertain truth. In fact, it might have even been better for them if they had just met her prime dimension counterpart from the get-go instead of getting attached to some false Maxwell. Milla tries to look him in the eye like she wants to, but she looks over his shoulder instead. At him, but not at him. ] Things might've even gone smoother if I hadn't been around. It almost--
[ she bites her tongue on it, but her thought continue through the crystal on her cuff, anyway: makes me wish I'd died sooner.
It's a terrible sentiment. It's not one she wants to have. It's not one she does have. And the second she realizes it's been transmitted to him anyway, she straightens up and--she can't take it back. She doesn't wish that, she's never wished to die, she's terrified of it but it's something she has to do. She has to own up to it though. ] I mean, it... it almost makes me wish you hadn't taken me from my dimension at all.
[ It's the same thing--dying--but one is without knowing them and traveling with them. One is the easier route. It's something she's said before, implied or said straight out, but it doesn't have any spite to it. No fire, nothing. It's just a cover-up. ]
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[That's an easy enough statement to deflect. It's not the same at all, namely because--]
You two aren't the same. [Or he should correct that.] You're both Milla Maxwell, but you're completely different from one another.
[He laughs thinking about it, actually. He can't really deny that he feels bad from taking her from her dimension, but even so... he can't really regret it.]
I don't think Elle would have gotten along as well with her.
[Considering how similar her and Fractured Milla are.]
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His kndness is as cruel as it is comforting, in the end, so she laughs curtly. ]
She would've. [ It makes her wonder, though--she squeezes the table behind her. She doesn't want to know, but... ] ...how'd she feel, meeting Milla Maxwell?
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[Nice and simple.]
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You don't even know the half of it.Milla'd stall on talking but, like ... she's already blurted out something like this before.Maybe it wouldn't hurt to talk about her feelings for once...!?!?! No that's silly let's go on avoiding doing that. ] I'm honestly not even sure that girl that size is capable of actually hating someone.
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[He knows that very well.]
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...so, cool, topic successfully avoided! Just don't stick your foot into your mouth, Milla, and you can escape this situation. ] Why'd you want to know? About if I met Milla Maxwell or not.
[ It was an easy switch from just "Maxwell" to "Milla Maxwell"--and maybe it's being a little cruel to herself, because it's a reminder that she doesn't have the right to anything but the first part of that name. Milla. ]
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[It was a good question, really. He met himself, and has a very Interesting opinion on himself now, so he's wondering if it's the same with Milla.
Probably not.
Prime Milla isn't fucking insane.]
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She's a good person. Spirit. Every praise her companions spouted about her is well-deserved, and then some. [ Tiz--and the lights dim for just a second at thinking of him, because they really didn't leave off on a good note--had called the other Milla elegant. She knows there's a great many people who'd agree, especially after meeting... her.
Inelegant, short-tempered her. ] I'm pretty sure she's only got two weaknesses. One: She's in a relationship with a human, and seriously, I don't care what crap they're spouting about spending their time while they can, it's doomed. They're just gonna end up hurting each other. Two: She's reaaally not the cooking type. She's a quick-learner at least, but I don't foresee her really getting into it. She's probably more of a fan of eating meals than making them.
She's infallible and perfect otherwise.
[ Green with envy? A little. And kind of literally; it's getting pretty Emerald City up in here. Hopefully the wallpaper and tile aren't gonna stay that way. ]
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Even if it feels like there's even more that she needs to get out. Not like he'll push it.
He would be surprised about the news of the relationship if he didn't catch them making out on the couch once. A small ping of jealousy was there, nothing too big. He was definitely happy for them, but at the same time, it's hard to see someone kissing someone who looks like a person that you're close to.
That had died, previously. It's complicated.]
She's about as infallible and perfect as you are.
[AKA not at all.]
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Only pet the cat when it lets you etc etc. ] I'm just saying she's--you know. [ Amazing? Wonderful? Better than her in every way, why the hell would anyone sincerely prefer her over her prime counterpart after they met her?
Elle aside. Elle... Kids just get attached too easily to one thing, and Elle in particular is the most stubborn brat she's ever met. It makes sense for her. Anyone else in their right mind, though.
Anyone... else... she stares at Ludger, contemplating it, but--no, she doesn't want to know. She doesn't! She really
honestly
doesn't. ] Anyway, that's that. Happy with your bribed information?
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[Duh! Business, not pleasure. But no, he really doesn't know. It's hard to compare the two, so...]
You two aren't the same.
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Yeah. They all couldn't stop making that abundantly clear. [ OUR MILLA this OUR MILLA that. ] What the hell kind of business is this?
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shouldn't be so hard on him, should she. ] I don't need cheering up, you know. I'm fine. I've been living next to the lot of them for the past half year, and...
[ This is where she pauses though, because it's not something she wants to say, but. She did the "and", he'll probably press her about it. His consideration can only go so far if he thinks there's something actually getting her down. ] I found out something a few months ago that, if it's true, explains a couple of things. Or--more than a couple of things. A lot of things.
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What was that?
[He has no idea what it could even be, unless it's something he doesn't know either.]
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[ She slumps a little. This still hurts to think about. She was played for a fool the entire time--gotta be explaining why she doesn't claim her Lord of Spirits title as much anymore though, actual Lord of Spirits residing in Empatheias aside. ]
It's likely that I was the same way, except my big sister was sent along with me to make sure that our mission was carried out. When we were finished, I dismissed the Four--or I thought I did. It's more likely that the real Maxwell called them back to the spirit realm. The person my big sister must've been trying to talk to at the Hallowmont must've been him too. [ Milla squeezes her arms, closing her eyes. She'd hate to see him pity her, even for a second. ] I've been living a lie for the past twenty-one years of my life, and I got to hear it from Miss Maxwell herself--along with the story of the woman her and I were named after, Milla Kresnik.
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[Even if she doesn't see his pity, he's doing pretty well of voicing it. He knew about the story of Milla Kresnik, but was that really a surprise, given his own last name? He even met Maxwell himself, even if it was just a fossil.
He's not even sure what to say, other than that. What can he say, other than sorry? There's not much else to say when someone's life ended up being a lie.
But he can think on it, for a bit, at the very least.]
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But she nods. There really isn't anything else to say. ] It's... fine. That was a while ago.
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[Yeah. This is pretty awkward. He has no clue what to even say to all of this.]
You still had control of them, even if for a brief time. That's more than most can say.
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